Young adults often find themselves in unhealthy, toxic relationships. These can have serious negative impacts on their general well-being and daily functioning. What’s more, the constant stress, anxiety, or fear involved may lead to mental health issues that can be very challenging to experience and recover from.
The Link Between Toxic Relationships and Mental Health
What are toxic relationships anyway? In a word, they are unhealthy friendships or romantic relationships that deflate self-esteem, autonomy and emotional health. For young adults they can be especially damaging due to the vulnerability and emotional sensitivity of this period of growth.
Toxic Relationships
Toxic relationships have several key features:
- Lack of support and respect:
- One-sided friendships, where one person supports the other without receiving the same in return, is demoralizing and emotionally draining.
- Self-esteem can be significantly diminished by constant disrespect, criticism or undermining the other person’s feelings.
- Manipulation and control:
- One person may try to control or even dominate the other. They may dictate the other person’s choices, behaviors and actions.
- This may include guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail or using personal information to cause harm.
- Negativity and drama:
- Constant arguments, conflict and drama can lead to chronic stress and anxiety.
- Frequently, the term “bad influence” is used to describe toxic friends. Their negative behaviors, unhealthy habits or risky activities may all have negative effects on the other person’s mental health.
- Competition and envy:
- Jealousy and competition can create a hostile environment. This may cause the other person to feel threatened and undervalued.
- Sabotaging the success or happiness of a friend contributes to negative self-esteem in that person.
The Mental Health Impact of Toxic Relationships
The constant stress and emotional turmoil of toxic relationships can result in anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. A young adult caught in such a relationship may find themselves in a cycle of self-doubt and negative thinking. Often they internalize the criticisms and manipulations from their partners.
This can lead to feelings of worthlessness and isolation as they may withdraw from friends and support systems due to shame or fear of judgment. Some research shows that 50-75% of youth and young adults struggle with loneliness. Some use substances to cope and many engage in risky sexual behavior. Others self-harm. The cumulative stress can also cause physical health issues, compounding the mental distress [1].
Several factors contribute to toxic relationships among young adults:
- Previous trauma
- Low self-esteem
- Family and peer influence
- Media influence
- Societal and cultural influence
- Loneliness
Signs of A Toxic Person
There are many signs to watch for with a toxic person [2]:
- You feel you’re being manipulated
- You feel bullied or cyberbullied
- You are confused by the person’s behavior
- You don’t feel comfortable around the person
- You feel like they are aggressive to you
- You feel you deserve an apology that never comes
- You feel you have to defend yourself to this person
- They have been violent on dates or when having sex
- You feel emotionally and psychologically abused
- You feel bad about yourself in their presence
Tips to Deal With Toxic Relationships
Here are some tips:
Awareness and Acknowledgment
The first step to healing is recognizing the toxic nature of the relationship. Understanding that you are in a harmful situation can empower you to find change.
Establishing Boundaries
This is essential for protecting emotional well-being. Communicating what behaviors are unacceptable and adhering to these boundaries helps create a healthier dynamic.
Seeking Support
Connecting with trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals provides valuable support. Sharing experiences can create a sense of connection and help you feel less isolated.
Prioritizing Self-Care
This is key in healing from a toxic relationship. Exercise, mindfulness and hobbies or sports can restore balance and resilience.
Considering Exit Options
Many times the healthiest choice is to leave a toxic relationship. Creating a plan for a safe exit is vital, especially if emotional or physical safety is a concern.
How To Set Boundaries With Toxic People
Toxic people have little or no respect for your boundaries. Be clear about what you will or won’t do and stand firm. But this can be difficult, especially if you are a giver or an empathic person. Here are some tips to consider:
- Cut ties completely: A toxic person will make you feel bad about yourself by being controlling. They may use putdowns, gaslighting or asking for favors then criticizing you if you don’t meet their standards. If you can’t make a clean break then limit your time as much as possible and in a public place or with other friends around.
- Stop rescuing them: If you tend to be a rescuer, think about whether you want to keep doing that. Rescuing only leads to them coming back to you and creating a co-dependent relationship where you enable their toxic behaviors.
- Things might get worse before they get better: When a toxic person sees you defining your boundaries, they may realize they are losing a lifeline. So they will go all out to get back control they once had. Don’t take this to mean you should stop what you’re doing. Instead you’re showing them that their unacceptable behaviors just won’t work anymore.
- No need to explain: No is a complete sentence and a very powerful word. You don’t need to justify or make excuses.
Helping Young Adults Build Healthy Relationships in Utah
Engage Young Adult Transitions is a transitional living program and therapeutic community that assists young adults on their path to independence. Using attachment theory, we provide a foundation for forming connections, getting involved with the community, managing mental health, and building life skills for long-term success.
Located just steps from Southern Utah University in Cedar City, we offer access to services seven days a week, including academic support, vocational training and career guidance, life skill coaching, mental health therapies, and recreational activities.
Our community offers high levels of therapeutic support that honors autonomy and independence while guiding young adults to a life of freedom, emotional wellness, and success. Get involved with the Engage Transitions community today!
Sources
[1] Kumari, M and K. Bhandarkar. The Psychological Effects of Toxic Relationships on Mental Health: A Review. Journal of Emerging Technologies and Innovative Research. JETIR October 2024, Volume 11, Issue 10
[2] Toxic People: Signs to Look For. Webmd.com