The term “failure to launch” has become embedded in popular culture, following the release of the movie of the same name in 2006. Unfortunately, many young adults who have not successfully left home and established their independence have become saddled with all of the negative connotations of this term, commonly understood as being unable or unwilling to leave home and support themselves.
In this Insight, I look at more constructive alternatives that can help both parents and young adults.
What Does the Term “Failure to Launch” Refer to?
The term “failure to launch” refers to a young adult’s prolonged difficulty in achieving independence from their family and transitioning to assume adult responsibilities. At its core, it refers to a young adult’s delayed autonomy in defining and following through on either work, educational, romantic, or social aspirations and to achieve emotional, financial, and housing independence from their parents.
Common symptoms include:
- Low motivation
- Undeveloped ambition
- Low tolerance for frustration or distress
- Procrastination
- Challenges in managing stress
- Isolation
- Undeveloped self-management skills
- Limited accountability to others
According to the US Census Bureau in 2021, reported by Pew Research, one in three U.S. adults ages 18 to 34 live in their parents’ homes. And Americans were more likely to view young adults living with their parents as a bad thing than a good thing for society. Of these, 36% of young men in the U.S. lived in their parents’ home, compared with 30% of young women [1].
And a 2023 report by psychologist Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, who first coined the term “emerging adulthood”, noted that the impact of the COVID-19 public health emergency is still strongly felt, especially by women and Asian-Americans.
Emerging adults’ mental health still has not recovered. Symptoms of anxiety disorder and depression remain nearly as high now—nearly 40 percent for anxiety disorder and almost 35 percent for depression—as in the first year of the pandemic [2].
Why Young Adults May Struggle With Independence Today
This phenomenon is complex, involving a number of factors beyond merely the lack of motivation leading to delayed developmental milestones or independent values. These include [3]:
- Economic challenges: High student debt, high living and housing costs, and job instability in a competitive job market can delay independent living, making young adults more reliant on families as they struggle to achieve financial independence.
- Mental health issues: Anxiety, depression, and developmental disorders (autism spectrum disorder, ADHD) can make it overwhelming for individuals to focus, set goals, and develop the necessary skills to become independent.
- Parenting styles: Overprotective or enabling parenting (sometimes called “helicopter parenting”) and a lack of independence in childhood may impede skill-building and risk-taking. This can contribute to a lack of self-sufficiency where prior practice with decision-making, problem-solving, and self-care skills help them take on responsibilities in adulthood.
- Underdeveloped life skills: Lack of developed executive function skills, such as time management and planning, can impede taking on adult responsibilities.
- Trauma and substance use: Childhood trauma, substance abuse, or video game addiction are additional risk factors that may delay independence.
- Psychological factors: Common, and often overwhelming, factors are the fear of failure and ensuing challenges with motivation. These contribute to the struggle to find life direction. Some young adults are able to mask these issues until they strive for independence, then they shut down and become stuck.
- Social factors: Social media with its portrayals of beauty, money, and success, plays a key role in creating unrealistic expectations and with a limited understanding of the responsibilities of adulthood.
The Problem with Labeling Young Adults as “Failing to Launch”
In response to the widespread use of the term “failure to launch” in popular culture and social media, it has been justifiably critiqued for its unhelpful stigma. Of the many factors contributing to delayed transitions to adulthood, cultural norms, social and economic realities, and psychological conditions stand out. So it’s not always a “problem”; sometimes it’s a pragmatic choice young adults are faced with.
Continuing to live with parents may be an adaptive response to these factors, not necessarily reflecting individual shortcomings, immaturity, or failure. Eliminating the shaming associated with the term “failure” will go a long way to helping, not hindering young adults.
Labelling young adults as failures can obscure their underlying challenges. They may just need supportive interventions, personalized help, and a reframing from “failure” to “stuck”.
Rethinking Success for Today’s Young Adults
The concept of success for young adults today is a far cry from their grandparents’ or even their parents’ generation. That model—get a stable job and work, or go to college, then get a stable job, work for one or only a few employers, buy a house, and retire comfortably—is a relic of that time.
For today’s young adults—Gen Z and younger millennials—their path is full of economic instability, technological disruption, an ever-changing cultural landscape, the COVID-19 pandemic, and mental health crises.
Success is now different for everyone. Core values are now centered around holistic health and well-being, purpose and fulfillment with meaningful relationships, flexibility and adaptability in work, financial autonomy with security, not status, community and connection, continuous growth and environmental sustainability.
Striving for these values can be a daunting task for a young adult who is “stuck”. And families can play a key role in supporting them, rather than enabling.
How Families Can Support Without Enabling
So the challenge is how can families support their young adult to grow, during this phase of emerging adulthood, without enabling them to remain stuck? Here is a summary of some of the key elements [4] [5]:
| Support Strategy | Why It Helps |
| Provide supportive networks | Provides guidance and encouragement |
| Set clear expectations | Reduces confusion and builds structure |
| Enable gradual responsibility | Builds confidence and key skills |
| Emotional encouragement | Fosters resilience and hope |
| Set realistic goals | Directs momentum and self-management |
| Foster resilience skills | Helps navigate challenges and setbacks |
| Allow consequences | Increases motivation and accountability |
| Offer career counseling | Improves ability to find work |
| Promote financial literacy | Develops independent skills and stability |
| Therapy or coaching | Personal skill-building and support |
How Engage Young Adult Transitions Can Help
Engage Young Adult Transitions is a transitional living program and therapeutic community that assists young adults on their path to independence. Using attachment theory, we provide a foundation for forming connections, getting involved with the community, managing mental health, and building life skills for long-term success.
Engage offers structured autonomy—high support without creating dependence. Our therapists and life coaches are here to honor the young adults’ need to gain independence and freely move to a more secure sense of self and their relationships.
Located just steps from Southern Utah University in Cedar City, we offer access to services seven days a week, including academic support, vocational training, career guidance, life skill coaching, mental health therapies, and recreational activities.
Our community offers high levels of therapeutic support that honors autonomy and independence while guiding young adults to a life of freedom, emotional wellness, and success.
Get involved with the Engage Transitions community today!
Sources
[1] Hatfield J. 2023. Young adults in the U.S. are less likely than those in most of Europe to live in their parents’ home. Pewresearch.org.
[2] Clark News and Media Relations. 2023. Psychologist: Young adults hit hard by pandemic’s toll on mental health
[3] Children’s Health Council. Young Adults and Failure to Launch
[4] Stoltzfus, J. 2023. Do We Really Have a “Failure to Launch” Problem? Parentslettinggo.com
[5] Lebowitz E. R. (2017). “Failure to Launch”: Shaping Intervention for Highly Dependent Adult Children. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2017 Mar;56(3):187–188.