Our Young Adult Transitions program is designed for individuals ages 17 to 29.
How would you like to be told you had failed to launch? Doesn’t feel good, does it? Or as a parent, would you like it if your neighbour told you that they thought your young adult had failed to launch? Not at all helpful.
This pejorative term was popularized by the 2006 movie of the same name. Let’s unpack it a bit in search of a better term. In fact, why not just use the word “struggling” because that’s really what it’s all about. Or more accurately, “emerging young adults”, which is the most accurate term used by sociologists who study these trends.
It’s all about the prolonged difficulty some young adults have in achieving autonomy from their family. And in assuming the emotional, financial, and housing responsibilities of adulthood.
But it’s time to retire the term “Failure to Launch.” It’s harmful, stigmatizing, and ignores the real reasons young adults struggle with independence, given economic pressures and soaring living costs. And all the more so for those who experience anxiety, depression, ADHD, or autism.
Let’s shift from blame and stigma to understanding, and help young adults build the skills and confidence they need to thrive on their own paths. But first, let’s look at the “who”, “what”, and the “why”.
Emerging adults are struggling. They’re financially and emotionally dependent on their parents. They live in the family home. They usually take on few responsibilities. They share some or all of these characteristics [1]:
They may say they wish to be independent, but have no plan or actions to achieve this.
Emerging young adults are struggling in a number of important ways:
It’s complex, as it involves a number of factors beyond merely the lack of motivation leading to delayed developmental milestones or independent values. These include:
Economic challenges
Mental health issues
Parenting styles
Underdeveloped life skills
Trauma and substance use
Psychological factors
Social factors
Long overdue for retirement, this phrase is unhelpful for several reasons:
1. It’s Judgmental and Stigmatizing
By placing blame on the young adult, it downplays many external factors, suggesting the problem is solely the young adult’s lack of effort or will.
2. It Oversimplifies a Complex Issue
The term “failure” pathologizes a normal (if extended) developmental phase. Multigenerational homes have been and still are the norm in many cultures. Moving out at 18 is relatively recent and varies with cultures.
3. It masks underlying conditions.
This so-called “syndrome” is frequently a symptom of ADHD, anxiety, depression, or autism. The label “Failure to Launch” dismisses these very real, treatable health conditions as simple laziness or failure.
4. It’s Not a Clinical Term
Mental health professionals don’t use “Failure to Launch,” nor is it an actual syndrome. There are no defined medical criteria, and as a result, the term is used unscientifically, inconsistently, and subjectively.
5. It Ignores Economic Realities
Young adults today live in a world vastly different from their parents and this term is deeply out of touch.
6. Impact on Family Dynamics
The term sets up a “problem child” versus “frustrated parents” dynamic, increasing resentment. It prevents empathy if this situation is viewed as defiance or failure.
How can families support their young adults during this phase of emerging young adulthood, without enabling them to remain struggling? Here are some ways:
Provide supportive networks
Set clear expectations
Enable gradual responsibility
Emotional encouragement
Set realistic goals
Foster resilience skills
Allow consequences
Offer career counseling
Promote financial literacy
Changing the language is the first step, away from hurtful stigmatizing. Here are less harmful alternatives:
Simply use “struggling”: It’s neutral and descriptive, and does not carry judgment.
Or even better, use “emerging young adults” which is the preferred term.
Saying “challenges with independence” or “difficulty with adult transition” places the focus where it belongs, rather than the person’s character.
Referring to the specific issue is the most accurate and helpful approach. Say:
Being involved with process or substance addictions presents real challenges for growth to independence. The right support to overcome these addictions is key.
Engage Young Adult Transitions is a transitional living program and therapeutic community that assists young adults on their path to independence. Using attachment theory, we provide a foundation for forming connections, getting involved with the community, managing mental health, and building life skills for long-term success.
Engage offers structured autonomy and high support, without creating dependence. Our therapists and life coaches are here to honor the young adults’ need to gain independence and freely move to a more secure sense of self and their relationships.
Located just steps from Southern Utah University in Cedar City, we offer access to services seven days a week, including academic support, vocational training, career guidance, life skill coaching, mental health therapies, and recreational activities.
Our community offers high levels of therapeutic support that honors autonomy and independence while guiding young adults to a life of freedom, emotional wellness, and success.
Get involved with the Engage Transitions community today!
To the difficulty some young adults have in achieving independence from their family and assuming the responsibilities of adulthood.
It’s harmful, stigmatizing, and ignores the real reasons young adults struggle with independence.
It refers to young or emerging adults who are stuck. They’re financially and emotionally dependent on their parents and live in the family home.
It’s complex, as it involves a number of factors beyond merely the lack of motivation leading to delayed developmental milestones or independent values.
Use “stuck” or “emerging adult” or say “challenges with independence” or “difficulty with adult transition”. Or refer to the specific issue.
